This week’s newsletter was going to be amazing. The effect on you would have been overwhelming: after you’d finished reading it you would have rushed around your office, screaming “we have to book onto all of SSE’s courses right now”. It would have been held up as a case study in newsletter writing, studied by students all around world. The marketing team from Apple would have headhunted me for a multimillion pound salary and I would have been flown around the world on a private jet delivering seminars and proffering advice and wisdom.
That dream is over. Technology has conspired against me. Our website has broken and it’s nearly impossible for you to book a course at the moment. It’s all left me a little deflated to be honest, so I’m going to sit here and sulk for a little bit and then spend the rest of the day thinking about going to the pub. If you would like to book a course, email me – email@example.com – and I’ll pause my sulking and take care of everything for you.
In the meantime, enjoy this week’s news…
I’m keeping a low profile today. I’m working from home and we’ve got builders in doing the loft – there is a serious danger that if I step outside the spare bedroom they might ask me a question or talk to me about the building work. I just don’t have the vocabulary to get involved, it usually ends up with me nodding my head knowingly and saying ‘yeah, yeah yeah’ in some weird estuary English accent that I adopt for such occasions.
Even worse is that I sometimes start a conversation, despite knowing that I don’t have the knowledge for it to go anywhere. The other day I found myself saying “are you installing a new circuit breaker?’ to the electrician just for something to say. I only know what a circuit breaker is because I saw the empty box lying next to him. No idea what I was hoping for with that one.
Far better to hide away in here writing this week’s newsletter. Enjoy!
Back when I started this newsletter I was a younger man (perhaps not surprisingly, as that’s how time tends to work). This introduction was full of tales of nightclubbing, music festivals and pub crawls. Writng this intro was a breeze.
Do you know what I found myself doing this week? Ordering numbered stickers to put on our wheelie bins (£3.49 from Amazon if you need some) so I don’t have to roam the streets of Honor Oak Park every Wednesday evening after the bin men have been trying to track down my dustbins. I mean come on. How am I meant to make that sound exciting? Next week’s should be better – I’m at the cricket all day tomorrow – but I know it’s going to end up with me in bed at 9pm feeling tired.
Onwards and upwards…